Tonight….
What do you do when you HAVE to walk away from the person you love? What do you say to change the past and make everything just like it was when it was “perfect”? What do you do when even though your brain is telling you this is the right thing, your heart is calling you a fool? What about when the person your in love with lets you walk away? Do you get mad cause they finally give up? Or do you think to yourself “finally”?
I have seen “love” in many forms. I have even seen loved ones get hurt by this “Love” thing. Each day I ask myself “Luck, why do you believe in it so much when its done nothing but cause you pain” I always say to myself “God, told me love is the greatest of all. That love is a beautiful thing when its found with the right person” Its a hard thing to be in love. You want everything to be perfect. You want each day with that person to be more memorable than the last. You want to envision all the great things you two are capable of accomplishing together. You want to be that couple that makes others believe in love again.
What happens when all those dreams are shattered? When you feel like your living in a nightmare and no matter what you do you cannot wake up?! What happens when you pull someone else in that nightmare, hoping if you found your happiness in them you’ll wake up and be somewhere different? so you start to feel like finally its there, you reach but something you do shatters it. So now your panicking trying to pick up every broken glass, when your not doing anything but cutting yourself. The more you bleed the more your thinking, ill keep going until its fixed, I did this, its my fault, I got to fix this. Not knowing your slowly killing yourself cause the more you pick up the deeper the cut.
Little do you know though that the love you thought you had in someone else was displacement. Your looking for that love that you lost in someone else. So when your think your fighting for them, in all reality your fighting for the love you lost. Thats the scary thing. Your crying… but for who? Them or the other person? So many things has happened in the past year that I wish I could forget every minute but a part of me sees the good moments that happened and i smile. I think about the time I knew when I fell in love with you. I think about the time when I first held your hand. I think about the time we first kissed in public. Those are the moments that keep me going. No matter what you put me through seeing that smile, I fell in love with you everyday. Everyday I found a reason to stay and not walk away from you. Everyday I knew how special you meant to me. Nothing in my soul wanted to share you with anyone else. To know someone else is kissing you, holding you, or even breathing your air, i couldn’t let it happen.
Me walking away from you tonight was the hardest thing I EVER had to do. I know if I love you, I have to let you go. Real love doesn’t keep anyone hostage knowing both parties aren’t happy. One person has to walk away to save the both of you. I had to make that sacrifice for you. for us. I love you too much to see you suffer like you have. I can’t do this to you anymore. You made my world complete in the year you been apart of it. You made me feel love in a different way. I can never thank you enough for that. You made me smile so many times, you made me fall in love everyday. Whoever thought that could be possible. You made that happen tho.
I love you more than words can express. I will always love you. You’ll always be my number 1. Your what ppl now have to catch up to. If they can’t do better than you, I don’t want it. Its you and always will be.
I have love sitting with me in my lap… His name is Bentley. He’s so much more than a dog. He symbolizes the greatest love i ever had. He symbolizes our love. Each time I hold him. I hold you. You mean everything to me. Always will be babe. Your it. You have my heart.
I love YOU.
